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From The Heart

Publish date: 10/02/2011

So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”  Genesis 1:27-28 NKJV

And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.  Genesis 2:23-25 NKJV

Marriage is God’s idea. God gave one woman to one man and instructed them to have children – to be fruitful and multiply. There is only one natural way to produce children – a man and a woman becoming “one flesh” in an intimate, sexual union. Many people have the mistaken idea that there is something sinful about the sexual union, even within a marriage union. This is totally false. Adam and Eve were naked and not ashamed. Where there is no sin, there is no shame either. There is nothing sinful or shameful about the sexual union of a husband and wife, who are committed and faithful only to each other. God has reserved this privilege for marriage and when we understand this and show our respect for His laws, we will reap the blessing of it. There is nothing better than loving and being truly loved by that one special, fully committed person!

Hebrews 13:4 KJV says, “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” The AMP says, “Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous.” And The Message Bible says, “Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.”

Marriage is good and honorable and so is the marriage bed. However, God will judge those who have casual and illicit sex outside of marriage. Sex is reserved for marriage, because within the marriage union, it is a blessing to both partners. Inside a loving, committed marriage, it brings peace, joy and fulfillment. Outside of marriage it brings devastation to all concerned – spirit, soul and body.

Drink waters out of your own cistern [of a pure marriage relationship], and fresh running waters out of your own well. 16 Should your offspring be dispersed abroad as water brooks in the streets? 17 [Confine yourself to your own wife] let your children be for you alone, and not the children of strangers with you. 18 Let your fountain [of human life] be blessed [with the rewards of fidelity], and rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant doe [tender, gentle, attractive] — let her bosom satisfy you at all times, and always be transported with delight in her love. 20 Why should you, my son, be infatuated with a loose woman, embrace the bosom of an outsider, and go astray? 21 For the ways of man are directly before the eyes of the Lord, and He [Who would have us live soberly, chastely, and godly] carefully weighs all man’s goings.  Proverbs 5:15-21 AMP

The only way for a man to avoid having many children – dispersed abroad as water brooks in the streets – with many different women, is to keep himself for the one woman he will marry and commit himself to. It is important that you are faithful to your marriage mate both before and during your marriage! In order to grow up into emotionally healthy adults, children need to have a healthy relationship with both their father and their mother. Children need parents who are fully involved in their lives. If a man irresponsibly sows his seed all over town, with no regard as to the consequences, those children will grow up without their father’s love and protection. God requires that men take full responsibility for their offspring and not pile it all on the mother alone. The only sure-fire way to prevent pregnancy outside of marriage is to keep oneself pure and to reserve sex for marriage alone.

The Bible says that the way for a man to be truly happy in his marriage, is for him to commit to love his wife and to keep his eyes only on her and himself only for her. A wise man will do what it takes to keep his love for his wife alive through their entire marriage – till death parts them. Love is not merely a feeling – it’s a committed decision! It is primarily the husband’s responsibility to keep the flames of romance alive in the marriage. Men – don’t panic! This is not an impossible task. It is not merely the grand romantic gestures that do the job. It is all the small, kind and thoughtful things you do on a daily basis that let your wife know how much you love and appreciate her, that keeps her interest in you alive and well.
But because of the temptation to impurity and to avoid immorality, let each [man] have his own wife and let each [woman] have her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights (goodwill, kindness, and what is due her as his wife), and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have [exclusive] authority and control over her own body, but the husband [has his rights]; likewise also the husband does not have [exclusive] authority and control over his body, but the wife [has her rights]. 5 Do not refuse and deprive and defraud each other [of your due marital rights], except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves unhindered to prayer. But afterwards resume marital relations, lest Satan tempt you [to sin] through your lack of restraint of sexual desire.  1 Corinthians 7:2-5 AMP

The sexual union is instituted by God and should be respected and nurtured by the husband and the wife. It is not to be used as a reward or withheld as a punishment. It is an expression of love and consideration that each demonstrate to the other. Women especially need to make sure that they respect their husband’s need for this intimacy and regular physical contact and that they make themselves available to him. Husbands need to remember that it is easier for a wife to make herself available to her husband when he is kind and considerate and loving through the day and not only when he wants her favors. If you want a happy, long-lasting marriage, do not refuse or deprive or defraud each other of your due marital rights.