SUBMIT AND ADAPT YOURSELF TO YOUR HUSBAND AS A SERVICE TO THE LORD – PART VIFrom The Heart
Publish date: 01/01/2012
In like manner, wives, put yourselves in subjection to your own husbands with implicit obedience, in order that even though certain ones obstinately refuse to be persuaded by the Word and are therefore disobedient to it, they may through the manner of life of the wives without a word [from the wives] be gained, having viewed attentively your pure manner of life which is accompanied by a reverential fear; let your adornment not be that adornment which is from without and merely external, namely, an elaborate gathering of the hair into knots, and a lavish display of gold ornaments, or the donning of apparel, but let that adornment be the hidden personality in the heart, imperishable in quality, the adornment of a meek and quiet disposition, which is in the sight of God very costly. For thus formerly also the holy women, the ones whose hope is directed to and rests in God, were accustomed to adorn themselves, putting themselves in subjection with implicit obedience to their own husbands, as Sarah was in the habit of rendering obedience to Abraham, calling him lord, whose children [namely, Sarah’s] you become if the whole course of your life is in the doing of good, and you are not being caused to fear by even one particle of terror. 1 Peter 3:1-6 Wuest’s
The Word of God gives a believing wife the keys to a happy and successful marriage and it’s not just to find her Prince Charming, but it’s to always conduct herself like the princess she is. This passage in 1 Peter, gives eight keys: 1) Obey the Word (1 Pet. 3:1). 2) Submit to and obey your husband (1 Pet. 3:1, 5-6). 3) Conduct your life in a pure and modest way (1 Pet. 3:2). 4) Don’t let your outward adorning be your chief aim in life (1 Pet. 3:3). 5) Let your inner man be adorned more than the outward man (1 Pet. 3:3-4). 6) Trust in God (1 Pet. 3:5). 7) Do the right thing because it’s right (1 Pet. 3:6). 8) Be faithful to your husband in every way (1 Pet. 3:6).
We have already begun discussing some of these points. A godly wife is submitted firstly to God and His word and secondly to her husband as head of their home and their team leader. A godly wife is pure and modest in her conduct and appearance. A godly wife is not preoccupied with her appearance – she knows that godly character is both the most important thing in life and also the source of true beauty. A godly wife seeks to always keep her own heart right before God.
Verse 4 says: “But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God.” A humble, gentle, peaceful spirit – that is not anxious, fearful and tense – is more beautiful than any fancy clothes, make-up or accessories that you can wear! How else can you have a gentle, peaceful spirit, unless you are walking in faith and trusting in the Father to take care of you, no matter what?
The godly women of old, including Sarah, Abraham’s beautiful wife, were great women of faith. These godly women who have gone before us and who are our examples in the faith, such as Sarah, were known for their obedience to God and their respect for their husbands. The Lord exhorts us to follow their example. Sarah, and the other godly women of Bible days, trusted God with their husbands. They submitted to their husbands as a way of life, firstly, out of respect for God, and secondly, out of respect for their husbands. We need to do the same today. It can be a scary thought to submit yourself to another person, to relinquish control, and have to trust their leadership, but the Lord commands us to trust Him with our lives. Fear makes you try to control and be in control, but faith allows you to go ahead and trust the Father with your own life, even as you entrust your life to the leadership of your husband.
Verse 6 says: “let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you].” And 2 Timothy 1:7 AMP says, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.” The Lord asks us to trust Him and not to take things into our own hands. If you are operating in fear, then you believe that nothing will work out unless you are directing it, but if you are operating in faith, you will trust God to do His job – and He does it so much better than you or I! Instead of trying to control everything, or trying to change your husband, you need to rather pray and trust God to work in your marriage and in and through your man. The Lord is the only one who can change someone – He knows exactly how to reach each of us. You need to pray for the Lord to give you the wisdom and to help you to be the best wife that you can be. Then you can pray and ask the Lord to give your husband His wisdom and help to be the best husband that he can be. Just pray and love your husband – leave the rest to the Father. Men respond so much better to genuine kindness, gentleness and sweetness than they ever will to nagging, whining and manipulation anyway!
If we live our Christian faith quietly and consistently in our home, then our husband and family will see Jesus in us and they will respond positively! The world is always trying to instill discontent in the hearts of people – to get them to be motivated by fear and selfishness – but true joy comes from loving and serving others – especially our family. Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” We have to trust God and His word – that His way is the best way – no matter what the latest man-made ideas are. People have been listening to man’s counsel and not God’s counsel for years and we can see that society is all messed up as a result! It’s time to do it God’s way! Be brave enough to stand up for what is right and choose God’s way – the way of life and freedom! Just as Abraham is known as the father of all who believe, so Sarah is called the mother of all those daughters, who walk and follow in her footsteps. Hold your head up and be proud to be called a daughter of Sarah!