Having a Godly Marriage

From The Heart

Publish date: 12/08/1996

Foundation Scripture : Ephesians 5: 22-33

“ Wives, be subject(be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord.23 For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body. 24 As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. 26 So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, 27 that He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless]. 28  Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. 29  For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members (parts) of His body. 31 for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. [Gen.2 :24.] 32 This mystery is very great, but I speak concerning [the relation of] Christ and the church. 33 However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] as his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly].[I Peter 3:2]”


Verse 22 says “ Wives be subject to your husbands as a service to the Lord”. In order to have a Godly marriage it is important that God’s Word be the foundation for your relationship. God’s Word is the handbook for a successful, Godly marriage that will last a lifetime and bring glory to God.


However, as far as some men are concerned, they think that God has placed women on the earth for their benefit alone. Their attitude is, “When I say jump, JUMP.” That is not how God intended it to be. It is one man and one woman coming together as one flesh. As they flow together, the husband takes the headship according to verse 23, and then the wife becomes subject in everything to her husband. This is not something that can be demanded, but actually comes forth when verse 25 is practiced, “Husbands love your wives.” A wife can easily submit to her husband as he loves her, even as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for the church in its fullness. That Agape love - self sacrificial love that considers not its own needs but the needs of others- is the love these scriptures are talking about.

Verse 28 says “Men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself”. I told Adonica that there is nothing on her body or her personality that I want changed. I love her just the way she is and she does the same with me. Verse 29 - Look at the way Jesus cares for the church. That is the key, husbands, to love your wife the same way. The responsibility is not on the wife, it is on the husband.


Verse 31 - “..leave his father and mother…”  More marriages have been broken up because of family ties and domination or interference by either parent towards the husband or the wife. It is important that the husband and wife be undivided and come together in unity; inseparable without any outside influences. If you want to get into trouble with me, try interfering in my marriage and dictating or laying down the law to my wife.  You’re about to get into trouble and things won’t be well with you. Adonica and I decided that no one, neither parents nor in-laws would divide us or come between us. No outside force or influence. We are one together. One will put a thousand to flight and two will put ten thousand to flight - two are better than one!


Communication is one of the greatest keys to keeping a Godly marriage. You have to spend many hours talking things through, from child discipline, money, how many children to have, etc. etc.. A good marriage means a lot of time and effort. It takes many hours to maintain a marriage. Adjust and repair, staying flexible, always changing, keeping your heart soft and tender. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, even if it means staying up till 3 in the morning until it is straightened out.


Finally, don’t invest all of your time in your kids, or  when they have left the house you will find yourself living with a spouse you don’t know. Many people divorce each other after a number of years because they can’t live with each other alone. Their life was spent investing into their children and now they find that they have grown apart. Make a decision to base your marriage on God’s Word and learn to forgive quickly. Keep a soft heart and God’s blessings will be on you and your marriage will be a testimony to others. In a day and age when marriages are breaking up on every side you can make it with the help of the Holy Ghost. He’ll make the difference!