God's Word for Raising Children

By: Pastors Rodney & Adonica Howard-Browne

Publish date: 04/26/2020

Foundation Scripture:
Psalm 127:3-5 NKJV - Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. 5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate.
1. Father God Instituted the Family.

a. God created man—male and female—in his own image, and He blessed them, commanding them to be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth (Genesis 1:27-28).
b. A family begins with a father and a mother, who produce and raise children. 
c. Jesus said that a man should leave his family—consisting of a father and mother—and cleave (be permanently joined) to his wife (Mark 10:7).
d. Ideally, children need to be raised by both parents, who are committed to one another for life. 
e. Ephesians 6:1-3 AMPC—Children obey your parents in the Lord [as His representatives], for this is just and right. 2 Honor (esteem and value as precious) your father and your mother--this is the first commandment with a promise--3 That all may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth. 
f. Colossians 3:20 AMPC—Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord.  

2. Children are a Heritage of the Lord.
a. Your children belong first to Father God, and you have the blessing and responsibility of raising them, and shaping their future, with His help. 
b. Not only to be good contributors to society, but also to love God and make heaven their home.
c. If you do it His way and apply His Word, it will be a blessing; if you rebel and choose your own way, it will be a hard road for all concerned.
d. First, work on your own personal walk with God, because it directly reflects in the way you raise your children.
e. According to scripture, the family requirements for spiritual leadership are to be a husband of one wife, with well-trainedrespectfulobedient children. (1 Timothy 3:4-5; 3:12; Titus 1:6)
f. 1 Timothy 3:11 AMPC—[The] women likewise must be worthy of respect and serious, not gossipers, but temperate and self-controlled, [thoroughly] trustworthy in all things. 

3. Child Training.
a. Proverbs 22:6 AMPC—Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it. 
b. You train up (or hedge in) a child, like a gardener guides a plant to grow, in a right direction. 
c. “In the way” literally means “at the mouth of his path.” 
d. Give him complete instructions on every step to take; drill him thoroughly—teach, remind and lead him (as he grows)—on how to perform his duties, how to escape danger, and how to appropriate the blessings of a righteous life. 
e. Teach him to fear God and bathe him in prayer. 
f. Proverbs 29:17 AMPC - Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your heart. (NIV…he will give you peace…)  

4. Correction.
a. Proverbs 22:15 AMPC—Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. 
b. Children are going to do and say foolish things—they need parents who give them instruction in righteousness and loving correction when they are disobedient.
c. Hebrews 12:5-11 AMPC 
d. Because Father God loves us so much, He corrects each of us, in a firm and loving way, for our own good. 
e. Correct your children in the same way—firm yet kind—because you love them. 
f. Proverbs 13:24 AMPC - He who spares his rod [of discipline] hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines diligently and punishes him early. (NKJV…disciplines him promptly.) 
g. Take responsibility for raising your children and DO NOT be a lazy, neglectful parent. 
h. DO NOT leave your children to do their own thing or expect someone else to raise your child for you. 
i. Proverbs 29:15 AMPC—The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left undisciplined brings his mother to shame. 
j. When it is required, spankings should be applied, properly, and with discretion—on the child’s rear-end. 
k. Proverbs 23:13-14 AMPC—Withhold not discipline from the child; for if you strike and punish him with the [reedlike] rod, he will not die. 14 You shall whip him with the rod and deliver his life from Sheol (Hades, the place of the dead). 
l. Correct your child in faith and obedience to God’s Word—don’t allow your emotions to lead you, or your child’s emotions to control you.
m. Proverbs 19:18 KJV—Chasten thy son while there is hope (CEV …before it’s too late…), and let not thy soul spare for his crying. (NIV…do not be a willing party to his death.)  

5. A Word to Fathers.
a. Studies have shown that there are many valuable reasons why children need to have an actively involved father: For fun, for balance, to understand men, for behavior, for their education, for friendships, for their mental health, for self-esteem, for confidence and strength, for their future relationships with spouses, for the best chance of stable relationships, for understanding the role of a dad, for security, for choosing the right path, for the ability to persevere, for competitiveness, wisdom, for their future career, for respect of authority, and for happiness.  
b. Fathers encourage children to be brave and push boundaries, but they also need to learn to rein in their own anger and frustration—to be sensitive to their children’s limitations, and to not tease them too much, or push them beyond what they can handle. 
c. Ephesians 6:4 AMPC—Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord.
d. Colossians 3:21 AMPC—Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. [Do not break their spirit.] 
e. In the same way that a husband must learn to be tender with his wife, as a father, he must learn to be tender with his own children.  

6. Taking Responsibility.
a. Train your children to take responsibility for their own lives.
b. Children are responsible for themselves and should be held accountable for their behavior and choices. 
c. Proverbs 20:11 NKJV—Even a child is known by his deeds, Whether what he does is pure and right.
d. Initially, you create boundaries around them—from the outside—instructing and correcting them. 
e. The purpose is to teach them self-control and how to apply boundaries within themselves—in their own heart and mind.
f. No one, especially children, enjoys being disciplined or corrected—the flesh always rebels against the spirit—but it is essential for our eternal well-being.
g. Remind them—and yourself—that when it is being applied, no discipline brings joy, but seems grievous and painful; but afterwards it yields a peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. 
h. Do not give up at any point in the process—trust God and His Word—have the courage to be consistent and to keep on doing what is right for your children.
i. Galatians 6:9 AMPC—And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.