From The Heart

Publish date: 11/06/2011

But I want you to know and realize that Christ is the Head of every man, the head of a woman is her husband, and the Head of Christ is God.  1 Corinthians 11:3 AMP

The husband is the head of the house. What does that mean? It means that you are responsible – you are responsible before God for the well being of your family – your wife and your children. To be responsible means to be accountable – especially to the Lord. The Lord has given you a divine position and a divine responsibility and you will give an account on how you led your family – whether you loved them, provided for, and protected them – or not. How can you fulfill the responsibilities of this position and live up to the expectations that God has for you? Not in your own strength! You have to trust in Him and not lean on your own wisdom or understanding!

As the head, the leader, the chief, and the captain of your own ship, you are ultimately responsible for the direction your family goes in. No matter what choices anyone else makes – for good or bad – you must still follow your Heavenly Father and do what you know is right from the Word of God.

Some men blame their wives for all the problems in the home and some wives blame their husbands, but each person is responsible before God for their own role and their own attitude and choices. As the husband and head of the home, if there is a problem that seems insurmountable and issues that can’t be worked out, do not be too afraid or too prideful to take your family into counseling with a godly counselor – with the emphasis on godly!

In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.]  1 Peter 3:7 AMP

As the head of the house by God’s design, you are instructed love your wife like Christ loves the Church – giving your life for her; you must realize and understand that she is more sensitive than you are physically and emotionally; you must be gentle, kind and considerate toward her. If you don’t do this and if you treat her harshly, roughly or inconsiderately, then your own prayers will be hindered and remain unanswered.

House and riches are the inheritance from fathers, but a wise, understanding, and prudent wife is from the Lord.  
Proverbs 19:14 AMP

Only the Lord can give you a godly wife. This means that the Lord can give you a great wife to marry – OR – if you are already married to a wife, who is not so great, then the Lord can work on her and change her heart and make her a great and a godly wife! A great marriage takes two people, who are committed to God’s will and plan for their lives, above all else. Pray for a wife from the Lord. When you get a wife, treat her like the gift from God that she was intended to be.

Nevertheless, in [the plan of] the Lord and from His point of view woman is not apart from and independent of man, nor is man aloof from and independent of woman; 12 For as woman was made from man, even so man is also born of woman; and all [whether male or female go forth] from God [as their Author].
1 Corinthians 11:11-12 AMP

Contrary to modern opinions and attitudes, men and women do need each other. Not all men and women, but one special man for one special woman. Men are not superior to women and women are not superior to men. Comparing men to women is like comparing apples and oranges – they are completely different, but they are both important. Men are created differently from women – and women from men. Men are important and women are important. They each have a specialized function and a unique place in the family. We can say that they are “hard-wired” differently by God. This unique hard-wiring gives husbands and wives each their special place, specialized gifts and specialized strengths.

God created us all differently so that we could “complete” each other and not “compete” with each other. Competing is completely fruitless and unproductive, but cooperation can accomplish great things.

Husband, your job is not to Lord it over your wife and kids, but to be the priest and prophet of your house and to lead them with the help or the Lord. In order to do this, you must be completely submitted to the Holy Spirit. Serve God yourself – honor His word and His Spirit. Never use scriptures to dominate, manipulate or control your family, but to bless and edify them. Remember that it takes a huge dose of unselfishness to be a great husband and father!

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.  Ephesians 5:31 AMP

A man must leave his family behind on the day he gets married. That means that he and his wife are starting a fresh new family. If a man can’t “cut the apron” strings, then he shouldn’t get married. If a man is not ready to grow up and leave the safety and comfort of his parent’s protection, then he is not ready to get married – no matter how old he is. Love and honor your mother and father, but do not allow them to control, interfere with or meddle in your marriage. You are the new head of your house – stand up and take your place! You are the head of your new family and must make godly decisions on their behalf.