From The Heart

Publish date: 10/30/2011

But I want you to know and realize that Christ is the Head of every man, the head of a woman is her husband, and the Head of Christ is God.  1 Corinthians 11:3 AMP

For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body.  
Ephesians 5:23 AMP

According to the will and the Word of God, Jesus Christ is the Head of the body of Christ. He is the head of every man and every woman. On earth, and in the family, He has set the husband as the head of the wife and therefore the head of the family. What does it mean to be the head of your house? If you desire to please God, then it certainly does not mean that you lord it over your family or boss them around, neither does it mean that you get to control them. Ephesians 5:21 AMP says, “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).”

Jesus washed his disciples’ feet and told them that their job was to love and serve others, just as He had loved and served them. Jesus laid down His very life for us and He asks us to do the same for others. Why would we serve others and not our own family? The husband is head of the wife, just as Jesus is Head of the church. Jesus put us ahead of Himself. He considered our need as greater than His own.

Ephesians 5:25 tells husbands to love their wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. How does Jesus love His Church? That’s how you should love and treat your wife. The word for “love” here is agape – the God-kind of love – not mere human love, but God’s love. The love that sees others as valuable and precious; the love that can love sinners; the love that can love the unlovable! Not a conditional love, but an unconditional love.

Jesus is never mean or selfish with us, neither is He controlling or manipulative. He respects our free will and He gently, yet firmly, leads and guides us. All His plans for us are good and beneficial plans. He brings freedom and peace and joy to our hearts and lives. Ephesians 5:28-29 tells husbands to love (agape) their wives as much as they love their own bodies, because she is your own body – you are one flesh! It also says that the husband who loves his own wife loves himself. No man ever hated his own flesh, but he nourishes, carefully protects and cherishes it, just the same way that Christ does the church.

Husbands, love your wives [be affectionate and sympathetic with them] and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them.  Colossians 3:19 AMP

In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.]  1 Peter 3:7 AMP

The Bible does tell wives to submit to their own husbands. However, the Lord is not pleased when husbands demand submission from their wives. He is not pleased when a husband is harsh, bitter or resentful toward his wife. In fact, if you treat your wife roughly, the Lord will not answer your prayers! If a husband treats His wife like Jesus treats the Church, she would willingly and happily submit to him. If she doesn’t, then she obviously needs you to take your place as the priest and prophet of your home and love and pray for her! There are very few wives who wouldn’t respond to the God-kind of love from their husbands. Wives naturally want to please their husbands and to make them happy. If you are kind and understanding with your wife and if you make an effort to meet her emotional needs, you will have a happy wife and a happy life!

The Hebrew word for “head” means captain or chief. Husband, you are the captain of your own ship – your family. The direction your family goes in is in your hands. Joshua declared, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”  (Joshua 24:15) The first and most important thing you need to do is to serve God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, yourself, and to teach your children to do the same. They will follow and serve God if they know how much He loves them. You teach them how much God loves them, by loving and nurturing them yourself.

The Bible says that a man who seeks to serve and have a position of leadership in the Church must have unquestionable integrity and be the husband of only ONE wife. That not only means “one at a time” it means “only one”! This is good advice for every husband, not just ministers. If you are a minister, remember that your ministry is only as strong as your marriage.

Husbands, your first priority is to love God with all your heart; your second priority is to love your wife with all your heart; your third priority is your children; your fourth is your career or your ministry. A man who has his priorities in order, and who obeys God’s word regarding his wife and family, will have the fruit of a beautiful loving family, who serve the Lord together with him.

Praise the Lord! Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, Who delights greatly in His commandments. 2 His descendants will be mighty on earth; The generation of the upright will be blessed. 3 Wealth and riches will be in his house, And his righteousness endures forever.  Psalms 112:1-3 NKJV